How to be a terrible keyboard player: 5 habits to avoid

Title: 5 Surefire Ways to Stink at Music: A Humorous Guide

Introduction

As a music teacher, I'm frequently asked about the fastest route to becoming a better keyboard player. While pondering this question, I realized that there is no one-size-fits-all answer. After all, I don't know the level of discipline, commitment, or drive each individual possesses. Moreover, I cannot determine if they have a strong enough reason to overcome the creative plateau that musicians sometimes face. However, what I can share are some habits that, if embraced, can undoubtedly hinder musical development. So, let's explore five things you should never do if you want to stink at music.

1. Never Play in a Different Key

To ensure you become a bad musician, it's crucial to avoid learning how to play in different keys. Find your favorite key and stick to it at all costs. Expanding your repertoire to all 12 keys is simply too much work and time-consuming. Embrace the transpose button as your best friend and never stop relying on it. Remember, versatility is for musicians who actually want to excel.

2. Never Take Your Time to Properly Learn Chords or Runs/Riffs

When you stumble upon something new, be it a cool riff or a beautiful chord progression, the last thing you should do is invest time in learning the proper execution. Gradually working your way up to playing speed is for those who genuinely desire improvement. So, don't bother with it.

3. Never Learn to Play Scales

One surefire way to stink at playing keys is to avoid learning scales altogether. Some of the best keyboardists and pianists have mastered scales in all keys, but that's not for you. Stick with the major scale and ignore any other scales. Who needs versatility and skill when you can be a master of mediocrity?

4. Never Perform in Front of Others

If you truly want to stink at music, never let anyone hear you play or practice. Critique and evaluation are tools for growth, which is not your goal. Steer clear of exposing your playing to others, as their feedback might actually lead to improvement. Remember, staying within your comfort zone is the key to stagnation.

5. Never Move On Once You've Learned Part of a Song

When learning a new song, make sure to repeatedly start over whenever you encounter an unfamiliar section. By doing this, you'll never progress beyond what you already know. This approach guarantees that you never fully grasp an entire piece of music, perfectly aligning with your objective of perpetual incompetence. Be wary even during practice sessions, as accidentally learning the entire song could accidentally result in improvement.

Conclusion

While this guide has been presented with tongue-in-cheek humor, it serves to highlight a significant point. Evaluating yourself against this list can provide insights into your current skill level as a musician. Ask yourself important questions about your attitude toward your craft, whether you take your talent for granted, and if you invest sufficient time in improvement. Ultimately, understanding why you want to improve is crucial to charting your path forward as a musician.

So, are you ready to leave mediocrity behind and embrace a journey of growth and excellence? The choice is yours.

Action step: Evaluate yourself against this list. See where you land on the spectrum of skills for where you are as a musician. Take some time to ask yourself these questions:

What's my attitude toward my craft? 

Do I take my talent/gift for granted? 

Do I spend enough time working on improving?  

Why do I want to improve in the first place? 

DOWNLOAD: You can download the audio here.

That's all for now!

- Chris Moses